Ways You Know You're Obsessed with Twilight
by LiquidButterscotch
Summary: Oh come on. You know you are!
1. Chapter 1

Ways you know you are obsessed with Twilight.!

Keep in mind that all this stuff is me. I have actually done all of this stuff.

By the way…I did put a bit of Jacob bashing in this, since I am his least favourite fan of all time. If I had the choice I'd kill him myself. MUAHAHAHA. But anyways Jacob fans, just know that I have nothing against you. I just really hate Jacob. I am total Edward, so please understand that everything that makes Jake seem totally bad is my opinion. I tried to limit it to a minimum.

_I OWN NOTHING TWILIGHT. TIS STEPHANIE MEYERS._

You have read each book more than three times.

You finished each book in less than 4 hours and didn't put the book down once.

You counted down the days until _New Moon _and _Eclipse_ came out.

You cant help but smile whenever you think of Edward.

The name Edward is no longer dumb and weird to you.

Whenever someone says, "Hey, you wanna go shopping?" you automatically think of Alice.

You want to move to Forks, Seattle, Phoenix, or Port Angeles.

When you see someone barely starting the series, you want to punch them for not reading it sooner.

When you see someone reading Twilight, you go over to them and say how much you like it, to which they give you a weird look and walk away.

You cried during some parts of the book, and laughed at others.

The name Victoria sends chills down your body.

When you sing the Star Spangled Banner and say the line, 'at the twilights last gleaming' you think of Twilight.

Twilight is your favorite time of the day.

You have imagined yourself as one of the Cullens and or Bella.

You have had pretend conversations with one of the book characters in your mind.

After you read the book, apples became your favorite fruit.

You wish you were a vampire.

You squealed with joy when Edward and Bella reunited in New Moon.

Your friends get scared around you when you start to talk about Twilight.

When your friends bring up Twilight, they smack their heads because they know you're going to go on a never ending rant.

You are the leader of Team Edward in your school. **(Okay, perhaps that is only me. My other friend is leader of the Team Jacob shudder But I'm winning. I have 74 members of my school and she has 10!)**

When you see someone wearing glitter you think of vampires.

You wished your name was Bella and have yelled at your parents about it.

Instead of asking yourself questions like, _"I wonder why we as humans are alive?" _you ask, _"I wonder what will happen in Breaking Dawn!"_

You have gotten colored contacts to give yourself either topaz or red colored eyes. **(I have topaz!)**

You hate the name Jacob with a passion, and Black is now your least favorite color. **(sorry Jacob fans.)**

Your teachers at school ask you why your reading log mostly consists of the Twilight series.

You dress up like a Cullen on Halloween and people ask you why you're not wearing a costume but a lot of glitter and expensive brand clothes borrowed from your friends.

You read fan fictions about Twilight online and it's the only website you're on anymore.

Your myspace is Twilight-ified.

You've written Cullen as your last name.

When you went to an Italian restaurant, you ordered the mushroom ravioli.

You listen to your heartbeat more often.

You look at your doctor and think, _"Carlisle's better."_

Topaz is your favorite gemstone.

You wish you were born if November so topaz would be your birthstone.

You wish your birthday was also June 20th, like Edward's.

Your parents have grounded you from the books until Breaking Dawn comes out. **(…yes. This is true. Withdrawl is unbearable.)**

Your friends nickname for you is Edward.

You and your friend who likes Jacob have an actual boundary line. **(…don't ask.)**

Mountain lions are your favorite animal.

You've tried to read peoples mind, see the future, change peoples emotions, or make them be in excruciating pain. **(since most of my friends who read this asked, the last ones is Jane's power. Yeesh.)**

You hated New Moon, except for the beginning and ending.

You get very mad and gasp when people say they have never heard of Twilight.

**There will probably be more when I think of them! And yes, everything I have mentioned in here, is true in my case! **

**Later!**

**-Nicole**


	2. More ways!

More ways to know you're obsessed. Just admit it!

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT. (yeesh. It hurts so much to say)**

You see someone driving a silver Volvo, which you chase after like a moronic dog while yelling through their window, 'nice car!' or 'can I buy your car?!'

When you see people wearing fangs, a cape, and face makeup you want to kill them.

You think Dracula is a phony.

Your friends know to buy you something Twilight related for your birthday.

Your friends call you Edward. **(my lovely nickname)**

You know that garlic and wooden stakes have nothing to do with vampires unless Emmett throws garlic at Edward who then chases him with a wooden stake. **(something I was thinking about earlier today)**

Your favorite utensil is a fork.

You plan on possibly going to college in Seattle so you can buy an apartment/house in Forks.

You have recently wondered what your blood might smell like.

You have gone to font websites and looked for Bella and Edward's handwriting. **(found Bella's! Can you believe fonts cost like $40?!)**

Your family is no longer surprised when you squeal with happiness when the name Edward is mentioned at all.

You celebrate Bella and Edward's birthday. **(GO JUNE 20****TH**

You go into Victoria's Secret and half expect to see a certain red headed vampire standing there.

You wish you would have thought of Edward before Stephanie Meyer did.

All the other books you read seem very boring after reading Twilight.

You constantly wonder how anyone could be on Team Jacob. **(if you are Team Jacob please read my authors note at the end)**

You have asked everyone you know if they are somehow related to Stephanie Meyer. **(This actually pays off! I just recently discovered that my friends moms cousin is married to Stephanie Meyer's brother!)**

You count down the days until the next book comes out as soon as the date is released.

New Moon is your least/most favorite moon phase. **(least for me.)**

You show emotions as you read, such as cry, laugh and stuff. **(I cried like a new born baby when Edward left!!)**

Your parents sometimes regret buying you the book.

You wake up earlier on weekends now to see morning twilight.

You have kissed your books before.

You have attempted to name your books. **(I was very hyper at a party where I named Twilight 'Yay' New Moon 'Boo' and Eclipse 'Whoo'. I call them by their actual names now)**

You have considered (or have done) getting your haircut like Alice's. **(I considered this, but alas, I could not do it. It would ghastly on me)**

You wish you had Bella's luck.

You were a Cullen for Halloween once.

You wish you were a vampire. **(I wish this every second of my life)**

You've written Twilight related things in your notebook. **(Which is where I wrote this before typing it!)**

You've asked your parents multiple times for a Volvo. **(which, for me, shall never happen.)**

Your favorite color is either blue (Edward's favorite)or red. (team Edward color.)** (for me its blue!)**

There shall be more when I think of more!

And yes, I have done ALL OF THESE.

**Now, to all Team Jacobs.**

**Every person I have asked why they like Jacob better **_**never **_**gives me a good enough reason to believe it.**

**So, if you're serious about Jacob, answer me this:**

**Why?**

**Why do you think he's better for Bella in the end? **

**I just want to hear a real answer, besides 'he's hot!'**

**Thanks!**


	3. NEWNEWNEW :

**Alrighty! Boredom has gotten the best of me, so with the new book and movie now out and open, here's a new one. ;D**

**AND YES! I'VE DONE ALL OF THESE.**

You think that the movie was good because it was Twilight, but bad because it didn't follow everything. **(ME! ME!)**

You consider Breaking Dawn to be second best, after Twilight.

You cried when Bella FINALLY, AFTER THREE BOOKS OF TORTURE, became a vampire.

You didn't expect Renesmee, AT ALL. And you wish you were her.

You thought that it wasn't long enough.

You went to your local Barnes and Noble Breaking Dawn party at midnight, waited in line for six hours, read the book that same night, and didn't sleep for like two days. **( :D totally worth the lack of sleep.)**

You died laughing at Tyler's line in the movie, "Let a player play."

You are mad at Stephenie for not publishing Midnight Sun.

You admit to reading Midnight Sun on her website. **(I'm angry at Stephenie at the moment. :x Don't slap me for it. I just feel that she's punishing US, not the person who put it on the internet.)**

You saw the movie at midnight.

You wish Jacob had just freaking LEFT!

Edward—you love him even more. :3

You yelled at every single person who came into your room while you were reading Breaking Dawn. **(Hehehe.)**

You wish it hadn't ended. You desperately NEED the series to continue, or you may die. **(omgomgomgomgomgomgomg)**

You adore Renesmee and her cuteness! She rolls her eyes like Edward!

You were admittedly happy when Jacob imprinted on Renesmee, cuz his damn obsession with Bella was over.

You laughed at all of the people on this website who shunned you when you wrote about Bella and Edward having a kid, just like Stephenie did. **(I admit to this. Lmao.)**

You created your own covers for Breaking Dawn while waiting for it.

You're heart was beating faster than the speed of life during Bella's labor.

YOU ARE A TRUE TWILIGHT FAN YO!

(not as much as me. :3)

-Nikki. ^___^


	4. Z0MGI'MBACK newies!

Hey, here's an update on my favorite thing I've written. :)

Here are your more ways. :D

You loved the movie of New Moon better than Twilight, even though you loved the book Twilight better than New Moon.

You think it should be a law that Taylor Lautner isn't allowed to wear a shirt…ever again. Seriously…never.

You're totally for Edward, one hundred percent, but you want to marry Taylor Lautner.

You roll your eyes at the Twilight hate sites.

You are counting down the days until the movie premiere of Eclipse. :) :)

You have to at least try every new vampire love story novel, but end up being disappointed.

You have had debates with your Harry Potter loving friends on which series is better.

You've answered the question, "Harry or Edward?" without thinking about it.

You have made your boyfriend read it so you have something to talk about when an awkward silence occurs. **(mine hates it, lol. But I still love my baby boy.)**

You can look at almost every object in the current room you're in and somehow associate it with Twilight.

You have asked your boyfriend to carry you over thresholds, to go for a walk in the woods, and/or say unbearably romantic things to you. **(I'm so lucky. :) he does them for me without me asking. Happy sigh.)**

Tan sweaters remind you of the time Edward and Bella wore the same outfits. :)

…

…**doesn't Taylor just look FINE without his shirt—oops! Ahem. :3**

You feel lovey dovey inside when you think of Edward and Bella's honeymoon. :) Awww.

You laughed SO HARD that Breaking Dawn ended with Bella and Edward doing the nastyyy!

The smell of rain has a new meaning to you.

You saw New Moon at midnight with your best friend, who screamed when Taylor took his shirt off! OH YEAH! :)

You see pretty girls with long brown hair and think, _"She could be Bella."_

You lose interest…but then you read fan fictions and it all floods back again. :)

You bought a blue dress for your school dance. **(Good thing my boyfriend likes blue.)**

You can't even begin to understand why people don't just give the books a chance.

You're extremely annoyed by said people who complain about how awful the books are when they've never even read it.

I'm sure I'll think of some more later—I'm in the process of texting my friend Nathan, who is getting annoyed that my replies are so far apart. :) My boyfriend is grounded from his phone, sigh. I'm like majorly sad. :(

Did y'all like New Moon, the cinematic version extravaganza? I definitely did. :) though I'm sure you noticed that…

I kind of want to start writing again, but I can't really bring myself to do so. After Breaking Dawn, it's difficult for me to continue. So I might, dunno yet. ;)

I'm a dorky little sophomore who doesn't have a lot of time on her hands lately, which has probably been apparent from my near-year long pause between updates. I'm very sorry, and I swear that I have written a ton of junk in my spare time that doesn't go together.

But upon doing this, I kind of see how my writing skills have gotten a little better. I look back at the stories written on here, and they seem amateur. I'm no JK Rowling, but I do think I've slightly improved, which is why I'm doing this:

I'm going to delete the other stories and maybe write a Twilight one, post-Eclipse and pre-Breaking Dawn. :)

Granted I'm not the best writer, but I've improved over the long time of my absence. Now that I'm done with my acting until summertime, I think I have more time—at least enough to get in a weekly update. Maybe daily every now and then.

Sooo, there's that for you. :) Nothing is decided yet, but I want to try. I'll start writing a few chapters to get started, and once they're posted you can give me your opinions.

And I'll keep updating here. :)

-Nikki(:


	5. ResponseWhy I'm TE

I'm not posting "more ways", really. This is more of a response to some of the reviews left, which I had just gotten around to reading for the first time.

Granted that the majority were lighthearted and positive, some weren't. For example, one mentioned the things that I wrote were stupid and immature—thank you for pointing out the obvious, lol. Any obsession, no matter what it is, is stupid. It's like being in love for the first time—you write their name all over your notebook and think about them all the time. For _many _people, certain books are their obsession. My current obsession is, as it was before my Twilight faze, the television show Bones. Everyone, no matter who you are, has gone through some sort of ridiculous obsession.

The first two chapters were about things I've done myself. After my extended absence, these were things my friends or people I knew had done.

Oh, and the "my mom's friend's cousins is Stephenie's relative" thing, is true. My mom's friend, who attends the church she goes to, has a cousin who is Stephenie's brother-in-law. I've never even spoke to this person before, this was what my mom told me, lol. I thought it was a good thing to put on here.

Anyways, in response to the Team Jacob question I asked a long time ago, I feel that I should explain my reasoning for hating him. I don't like him, though I do respect him more now that he's with Renesmee and takes such a protective role with her. It's lengthy, so if you're not interested, thanks for reading anyways! (: (not sarcasm—it felt rude, so I had to add that.) I wrote this originally on the Twilight saga website. (:

I find that people's reasons for being a certain team are vague, and usually stupid. "Because Edward/Jacob is so hawt omgomg lol"  
It bugs me, because I relate so strongly to characters in novels. I create a bond with them while I read, and Stephenie portrays her characters very well. I feel like I know them. I'm a bit biased in my decision to love Edward--I fell in love with him as soon as I got past the first chapter of Twilight. (Not literally fell in love--I'm not a pathetic "fangirl". I simply adore the character.)

I read Twilight in 2007, the summer before my eighth grade year. It wasn't even remotely popular in my state (UT) at the time, and I felt kind of special that I read them before the hype in my area. I read both New Moon and the newly released Eclipse in one, very long sleepless night, about a week after finishing Twilight. I felt amazing.

Afterwards, I continued reading them over and over again. My teachers even ended up having to call my parents to ask that I wouldn't be allowed to bring them to school, because I was reading during lectures. I loved the books. I read Twilight (literally) over 30 times, and Eclipse 15. But, New Moon? 4.

I despised Jacob. I loathed him.

I began New Moon with a positive outlook, very eager. But at the moment Edward left Bella, I was filled with anger. I felt personally betrayed. I cried, but they were mad tears instead of sad ones; it took a lot of myself to continue reading, because I felt no point in continuing. But I did, because of the little thing on the back of the book which always occurs in the story, and it hadn't happened yet. I clung to the hope.

I was okay at first. I found Bella to be far too whiny, but for good reason. I wasn't at all sure how it was going to play out--I vaguely recall thinking that Bella would form a tighter friendship with Angela, and confide in her. I got farther in, and realized I was wrong. She was boring when going out with Jessica, but I'll admit I just about cried when she heard Edward in her mind.

But then Jacob Black came into the picture.

I didn't give him a chance the first time around. Everything he did bugged me. I couldn't stand him. As Bella came out of her depression, I got more angry. I felt like he was intruding on Edward and Bella, and I felt that Bella was giving up, which made me wanna jump into the Twilight universe and punch her in the face. The motorcycles, the whole "I can't tell you because I simply can't" thing...I found it all annoying. When he revealed that he was a werewolf, I had the uncontrollable urge to just throw the book out the window. I knew right then and there that she was going to fall for him. THAT, my friends, is where the pure hatred started. I read the entire book, but I hated every second of it until the moment Alice came. (Right when they were about to kiss--if that had happened, I'm almost entirely sure I would have burned my book). When Edward was finally back...I cried tears of RELIEF, of all things. I felt so much better when he was there.

I think Edward's decision of leaving Bella made entire sense. When I put myself in Edward's point-of-view, I would have done the same. Bella needed to be surprised, and lied to. From her personality, she would have been way too stubborn to just let him leave. She'd put up a good fight. Edward's world is dangerous, especially for a frail human like herself. You know you truly love someone, when you have the strength to let them go for their own good. That's the logical way I see it.

Then here comes Eclipse. The beginning of it was absolutely wonderful. Bella kept Jake in line, because her true soulmate was back. When he kissed her and she punched him, I cracked up. I wished she had gotten a crowbar and beaten the stuff out of him. See, I'm all good with that. I was even okay when she felt like friends with him again, because at least they weren't getting romantic. Edward was still a major part of the picture.  
But then comes my least favorite part of the entire SERIES. The fight scene. I hate it. I was alright until the moment Jacob climbed into that sleeping bag with her. Then I knew something bad was going to happen.  
When Jake threatened to kill himself if she didn't kiss him, I laughed. But then she DID. I can't express my anger when she realized she loved him, too. I hated Bella from that point on.

The way I see it, is that Bella quite frankly treats both of them like stuff. Edward, granted, left her, but as I stated above, I felt he had good reasoning. I just think that Bella treats him awfully. He personally betrays his family to be with her, goes through pain because of her blood because he loves her, wants to give her everything...but she doesn't want to marry him, yet she's willing to give up her mortal life to be with him forever? I'm sorry, but that simply does NOT make sense to me. He buys her wonderful things, and she has the nerve to be rude about it because she feels like he's too good for her already--which I personally think he is.  
But what REALLY gets me is that she wants to be with Jacob! She wants to have kids and love him and everything. I find it to be ridiculous...yes, he's much safer to be with. Yes, HE never left her. Yes, he'd love and take care of her. She'd never have to change for him. But, like I said earlier, I'm biased. I think Jacob is immature, and inconsiderate. He's young. He had the nerve to kiss a girl with a boyfriend, which is wrong PERIOD, Twilight universe or not. Then uses the excuse of killing himself. I don't think that's respectful in the least. He's disrespectful to Edward, while Edward at least tried to be a gentleman for Bella's sake (more than she deserves).

After calming down once Bella does choose Edward, and upon finishing Eclipse, I reread New Moon with an unbiased mind. I did see the reasons people would prefer him. I stated those reasons above. I've considered them. I even felt more sympathetic towards him, because he loves Bella. But I couldn't get over my dislike of him. And my newfound hatred for Bella didn't help.

To say I loved Breaking Dawn would be an understatement. Jacob's point of view annoyed me, he whined too much--just like Bella did in New Moon. And when he made that flippant remark about imagining Bella naked times before, I rolled my eyes. My hatred for Bella vanished entirely once she realized how much she loved Edward, and let go of Jake. But, then he just whined some more. Whoo.

And when he imprinted on Renesmee, I--literally--danced around. I was elated that it was finally over, that the Jacob Black I hated was gone. I grew to respect him and his love for Nessie after that.

Now, why I love Edward.  
I find Edward to be entrancing. As I said earlier, I read this in eighth grade basically. I loved the way he spoke, the way he treated her, his never ending politeness. I adored him! I wasn't mad at him in New Moon, just angry that he was gone at first, which turned into a frustration/sadness.  
Edward truly, in my opinion, loves Bella. Imagine hearing everyone's thoughts, their secrets, their personal opinions of you. Then you finally meet someone who's silent, who's for once mystery to figure out. Something you've never experienced. It was fate. She was basically designed for him. Her blood, so irresistible, only to him. But because she's a mystery, a new experience...he puts himself through it to be with her. What did Jake ever give up for her? Nothing that crucial. It's not just that I find Edward to be beautiful (in my mind), it's that I find Bella and Edward's relationship to be destined. He loves her so much; people who say that Jake loves her more are misinformed, in my opinion. He personally betrayed his family and gave away their secret to her. He's willing to give up an eternity of living to let her be a human—which is another thing. Bella does not HAVE to change to be with Edward, I absolutely hate that excuse. He begs and begs her to stay human, and it's Bella herself that wants to be immortal. Edward would gladly give his "life" once she dies. It didn't work out that way.  
Edward has never ending patience, which probably comes with being alive for over 100 years. Like I said, Bella treats him badly now and then, yet he stays. He's polite and respectful to Jacob, despite how much he'd love to rip him to shreds--for Bella's sake. Jacob didn't have the MATURITY to do so.  
Edward was not attracted to Bella physically, but more of...mentally, I suppose. I just love that. I love the Cullens, too. I absolutely love them, which is a small portion of the reason I'm so Edward.

I think I've covered the basics of my opinions, though there are some small details I left out.

I appreciate your awesome feedback on my lil story type thing. :) I felt I deserved to give my opinions, because I asked for yours.

More "Ways" soon, no more of this shiz. Lol. :)

-Nikki(:


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